CHICAGO — In the unspoken but passionately upheld law of the land, if you shovel out a parking spot in winter, that spot becomes yours. Period. And how do you mark your icy territory? With whatever piece of household furniture isn’t nailed down.
Welcome to dibs culture — Chicago’s most chaotic seasonal tradition where folding chairs, bar stools, and even old baby walkers become battle flags of urban survival.
The Ancient Ritual of Dibs
Every year, as soon as the snow hits, the city transforms into a surreal furniture showroom. Entire neighborhoods become museum exhibits of creative desperation:
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Broken dining chairs
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Traffic cones with handwritten warnings
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Toilet bowls (yes, actual ones)
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And the ever-iconic: white plastic lawn chair with one missing leg
If you’ve ever driven around and thought, “Did someone just use an ironing board to save this spot?” — yes, yes they did.
It’s Not Just Snow — It’s War
Chicagoans take dibs very seriously. You think it’s a joke until someone moves your chair and parks there — that’s how you end up on a neighborhood Facebook page with the caption:
“To the person who took my spot: May your windshield wipers freeze mid-swipe.”
There are no actual laws protecting dibs, but in this city, dibs justice is real — and it often involves dirty looks, passive-aggressive notes, or the mysterious appearance of a garden hose leaking directly under your tires.
The Objects of Dibs Are Getting Out of Control
Some of the wildest dibs items spotted in recent years:
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A stuffed Elmo duct-taped to a milk crate
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A headless mannequin draped in a Bears jersey
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Half a Christmas tree with a note: “Don’t test me.”
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A folding table with candles and framed photo — looking like a parking space funeral
We’re not saying Chicagoans are petty… but we’re definitely saying they’re hilariously creative.
Why Dibs Feels So Personal
Because it’s not about the chair. It’s about the sweat equity — the back pain, the frozen toes, the 5 a.m. shoveling job after a night shift. Dibs is how Chicagoans say, “I earned this,” without having to scream it.
It’s Midwestern pride with a side of “Don’t make me come back out here in slippers.”
Is Dibs Legal?
Short answer: No.
Longer answer: Still no, but good luck enforcing it.
City officials usually look the other way unless dibs objects block traffic or pose hazards. Some aldermen have called for an end to the tradition — but the people have spoken (and duct-taped their opinions to a broken stroller in front of their house).
Share This With Someone Who Shovels Like It’s the Olympics
We all know that one uncle, cousin, or next-door neighbor who brings out the same folding chair every year like it’s a sacred heirloom.
Tag them. Send this to them. Or better yet — put a screenshot of this article on your lawn chair this winter.
